Kraken boasts over a scrap with a sperm whale in a local bar.

"The whale was named after the milky-white waxy substance, spermaceti, found in its head and originally mistaken for sperm."

From Wikipedia.

Alien grey relinquishes his keys to a barely more sober Art Bell.

Of course, they called for a cab.

-Brock

A Mongolian Death Worm: Poses as a French Beatnik to Win the Affections of an Indifferent Dromedary

MDW: "Can I buy you a drink?" (this would be the 30th time he's asked in so many days)

ID: "no thanks, not thirsty" (the same answer she's given every time)

Vampires Rejoice as the Pale Moon Bleeds

Loch Ness proves skeptics right when found to be the engine block from a 1964 Plymouth Duster

I had no idea these were such fine engines. Fine, just fine. I miss eight roaring cylinders.

~countchadula

Mothman seized for the illegal transport of maple syrup across international waters.

Who needed maple syrup so badly that they had to hire this seldom seen crytpid to carry it across the ocean in his talons? Some maple-treeless nation that has an uncanny trade embargo against every country that could possibly deliver that product to them? It's a distressing dilemma: to deny your citizens of this tasty treacle, or to risk the arrest of cryptozoology's fifteenth most beloved beast. Hasn't he had it bad enough? Didn't Richard Gere play him in a movie? Batman has Bale, Spiderman has Toby, Horsewoman has Sarah Jessica Parker, and Mothman has Gere. It can't get much worse for this hideous oddity.

Free Mothman.

-Brock

Nessie reveals herself as the illegitimate daughter of circus elephants.

Yes, they're doing it.

-Brock

Bigfoot captured on Google Earth satellite photo as the actual killer of the Grizzly man

whew. that's better. what dork decided on these wacky dimensions?

~countchadula

Chupacabra prepares for a date with Christina Ricci.

Chupa-cadabra! Christina can do better. Here's the original drawing:



-Brock

Kraken gives directions to a lost Jaws en route to the Bahamas

i figure even the kraken's afraid of Jaws. i mean, c'mon...it's JAWS for cripes sake!! i couldn't take a bath for three years after this movie. well, not this movie, but the first one.

~countchadula

Bigfoot Entertains Boy Scout Troop 124 with impressive log juggling.

I never made it past Webelos Scout.

-Brock

The Abominable Snowman sues the Fortean Times for the libelous use of the word Abominable

Abomina-bull shit!

I hope the Fortean Times doesn't sue me for saying that the, uh...Yeti sued them.

-Brock